Memoria

grasping at half remembered visions
are they real
or
mere allusions to fill empty space?

some call them daydreams
idle wanderings of the mind to accompany the sun
but these meanderings keep me up
far into the dark night
when i can hear them 
burrowing
in 
  the depths of my brain

via pinterest


~

'Lo!

As you can probably tell, I'm quite rusty with words at the moment. One of my goals this month is to get back into the swing of regular blog posts + writing! I barely wrote anything this summer--instead, I did a lot of personal journaling. 

I also did a lot of brainstorming, especially in regards to some creative projects I hope I can accomplish! 

As for new posts--what would you all like to see? Would you like to see some lifestyle/advice posts? I'd like to change up the design on here eventually, as soon as I can figure out all that tech stuff. ;D

~ K A T H R Y N


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Study Playlist

favorite classical + film scores for studying (or relaxation)


 click the picture to listen!
click the image to listen!








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Currently {August}

'Lo,

I apologize for my rather long absence on here--the craziness of summer is starting to slow, and there's a brief lull before school and dance! I'm full of fresh ideas and lots of news, but for today, I wanted to type up a quick journal. 
i've been very into making smoothies lately...trying to get creative in an attempt to trick my vegetable-hating brother into consuming something semi-healthy :I 
~

reading: Jeeves and Wooster by P.G. Wodehouse (always a good laugh). I have a ton of books packed for our road trip to Washington D.C., so I'll have to let you all know what I finish!
watching: Stranger Things, The Princess Diaries (with my almost 10 year old sister who is totally into it), shark documentaries (don't ask)
listening to: I've been having fun making seasonally inspired playlists and trying out new artists, let me know down below if you want me to do a post + your favorite tunes at the moment
doing: Packing for D.C., doing some school prep, cleaning the house (yuck)
enjoying: harvesting vegetables from the garden, morning coffee, the sound of summer bugs
looking forward to: Our road trip to Washington D.C. next week!
missing: My friends, a time when I wasn't constantly busy
etc: I recently became a consultant for Lilla Rose, and have been busy educating myself about the company. Lilla Rose specializes in pretty (and practical) hair accessories, so if you're looking for some elven inspired hair bling (that still allows you to fight wraiths and make cookies and whatnot), check them out!

really like this family photo we took last month...everyone is looking at the camera and we only look slightly awkward! :D
i've been experimenting with dance photography
~
what have you been up to? spill the tea in the comments below!

K A T H R Y N

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Hello June








~

I got out of school on Monday 

I had a whole list of things that I wanted to do this summer, but so far I haven't had the motivation to do them. I'm restless, yet lacking the energy to do things. So far, I've been cleaning out my binders and room and giving my room a good tidy. I haven't done that in a long time. I'll have to clean out space in my closet for textbooks and notebooks since I'll be home for school next year. A clean space is a clean mind! (they say)

I'm glad I was able to make the decision to leave the school I had been at for two years for homeschool. I'll have more time for creative pursuits like writing and sketching and dance, and I can go to events I wasn't able to participate in while going to school. I'll miss my friends and teachers, however. I suppose that's the tricky thing about big decisions--there are pros and cons, and you need to weigh what is most important to you. I've become a terrible decision maker as of late. I hope next year works out all right. I hope my friends don't forget about me, now that I won't be seeing them every day. Funnily enough, I just found out one of my very good friends who had been living in Michigan is moving back here. I've also been seeing a lot of my old friends because of a play production I'm in. 

Maybe that's why I haven't been inspired to write. Maybe I'm scared to make decisions about what I want to show to the world--I admit, as of late, I've become more scared of what people will think of my writing, my appearance, my general being. It sounds silly, and people tell me "who CARES what other people think", but it's surprisingly hard to rid yourself of the worm that is self-doubt. The deeper it burrows into you, the more you change. It's a constant cycle of re-evaluation and wondering and worrying. That's certainly NOT who I want to be. But how do I find inspiration? How do I re-ignite that magic, creative fire that used to make life just downright exciting?

I don't know.

I've heard many people say that waiting for inspiration does nobody good. Okay, okay. But I've changed as a writer and a person in general. I crave perfection, but I know this is unattainable. 

If excellence is fulfilling oneself, then I choose excellence. But how do I know if my creative manifestations are really and truly excellent, and not just the product of a dormant imagination sputtering out half-baked wishes? Am I creating for myself, for the pursuit of beauty and virtue, or am I really just creating what I think people want to see?

Again, I don't know. But I'm willing to wait--I know inspiration will come, somehow.

But for now--time to scour the library shelves, peruse Pinterest, and put a little more effort into those half-hearted poems.

Hello, June!

~ K A T H R Y N






3

Recent Reads // April 2018

*eeks, sorry I forgot to post this.*

'Lo,

This month has been a great reading month due to the fact I had a kick-start with spring vacation! Normally it takes me forever to finish a book when I'm in school, so it was great to have some extra   R & R time (reading and relaxation time, of course.) I'll be providing summaries/blurbs from Goodreads, in case you've never heard of these books and want to find out more.


̲̲

Scythe // Neal Shusterman

★★★


I discovered Neal Shusterman last month when I read his intriguing, disturbing, and intensely thought-provoking book Unwind (highly recommend.) I found this one at the library and I liked the cover, so I brought in on vacation. The whole concept interested me, and that kept me reading. I kept hoping for more, and I had so many questions that were never answered. This book lacked the development I was expecting after experiencing the amazing exposition in Unwind. While this book was definitely original and had potential, I wasn't that impressed. I'm willing to read the sequel, though. 


A world with no hunger, no disease, no war, no misery. Humanity has conquered all those things, and has even conquered death. Now scythes are the only ones who can end life—and they are commanded to do so, in order to keep the size of the population under control.

Citra and Rowan are chosen to apprentice to a scythe—a role that neither wants. These teens must master the “art” of taking life, knowing that the consequence of failure could mean losing their own.

Tales of the Peculiar // Ransom Riggs

★★★★



I think two types of people would like this book: those who enjoyed the original series Miss Peregrine's Home for Peculiar Children and those who like odd fairy tales/folk tales. I'm both, so this was a fun and quick read for me! Riggs goes into some Ymbryne history in this book, which explains how loops/time pockets worked. This was just a fun little vacation read. :)


Before Miss Peregrine gave them a home, the story of peculiars was written in the Tales. 

Wealthy cannibals who dine on the discarded limbs of peculiars. A fork-tongued princess. The origins of the first ymbryne. These are but a few of the truly brilliant stories in Tales of the Peculiar—known to hide information about the peculiar world—first introduced by Ransom Riggs in his Miss Peregrine’s Peculiar Children series.

Riggs now invites you to share his secrets of peculiar history, with a collection of original stories, as collected and annotated by Millard Nullings, ward of Miss Peregrine and scholar of all things peculiar.

A Monster Calls // Patrick Ness

★★★★★



This book was incredibly sad, focusing on loss, or the fear of loss. Ness subtly immerses you in the story, making you feel the main character's pain with startling clarity. One of the most significant points in this book is the fact that most of the time, fear of loss is more painful than the loss itself. Letting go of your false hopes and facing the truth can open up new doors of appreciation and reflection that make loss less painful.


An unflinching, darkly funny, and deeply moving story of a boy, his seriously ill mother, and an unexpected monstrous visitor. 



At seven minutes past midnight, thirteen-year-old Conor wakes to find a monster outside his bedroom window. But it isn't the monster Conor's been expecting - he's been expecting the one from his nightmare, the nightmare he's had nearly every night since his mother started her treatments. The monster in his backyard is different. It's ancient. And wild. And it wants something from Conor. Something terrible and dangerous. It wants the truth.



From the final idea of award-winning author Siobhan Dowd - whose premature death from cancer prevented her from writing it herself - Patrick Ness has spun a haunting and darkly funny novel of mischief, loss, and monsters both real and imagined.


~ K A T H R Y N








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Petrichor

salty streams 
of pearl
hopes and dreams                       
unfurl
from deep pools
of past
almost there
at last



 

~ K A T H R Y N




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Woodsy Wonderland



this picture isn't that great, but this is the house we were staying in! it was amazing! i got my own room. :)


my siblings were making little rafts out of driftwood


mum enjoying some tea while watching the smol ones play
a fun fall display near one of the local markets


hiking was glorious, i loved pretending i was a fairytale character lost in the woods

the little monster being all cute. don't let him fool you
this was a rocky trail, very fun. 





this is very washed out, but the iconic trio wanted a pic
sunsets never fail to take my breath away

there's this adorable custard shop that we go to ever time we're in the area, the custard is fantabulous
my mouth is watering

~

My knowledge of technology is very limited, I admit. Dad lent me his camera when we went to Door County last fall, and I thought I lost all the pictures I took. My brother (who is significantly more knowledgeable when it comes to things with cords and memory cards) was fiddling around with the camera this morning and was able to find all of the pictures! 
These are a couple of my favorites. 

This was my first time using a 'real' camera, and it was so fun! I'll be sure to share the rest of the pictures soon. 

~ K A T H R Y N


2

Last Night's Journey

'Lo,

We recently read Dante's Inferno in english class. For the final assessment, I had to write a short story inspired by and incorporating elements from this thought provoking work. While this story is somewhat  disjointed and flawed, I had so much fun writing it! I havn't written a story in a while, so it was a great way to get back into the swing of things.

CLICK HERE TO VIEW



~

Have a lovely weekend!

~ K A T H R Y N


2

Transformation

she grits her china teeth
calico eyes piercing
cold, artificial anger pulses
through her
how dare the old chase the new,
a glimmer of the past stirring
from a dusty slumber

she slithers mechanically to the bookkeeper
inquiring as to the unusual nature of the encounter
but the keeper of tainted histories topples over
a smoky breath of death, a shriveled corpse of ages

the fading light was quelled
replaced by blue florescence
sterile and glossy materials
building a metallic world

bolted joints crush a beating heart
snuff out the irregular pulsing
of an all-too-human sphere

for, no matter the day, green will turn to gray
wonder to fear

this awesome image is from pinterest
~

'Lo!

This is a bizarre poem I whipped up while in study hall. Ah, boredom breeds creativity in even the most decrepit mind (chemistry is actually decomposing my brain, send help.)

Today school was canceled due to a heavy onslaught of snow...YIPPEE! :)
I'm beyond happy that I have a chance to catch up on some things, start some fun new projects, and watch shows + read books that I havn't been able to enjoy due to the crazy amount of homework/studying I've been having to do the past two weeks.

Currently, I'm getting back into knitting (what?) because I'd like to make some hats and scarves to donate. Crafts tend to try my patience, but I think having a cause to work towards will help me discipline myself to actually sit down and spend some time with the project. We'll see.

I'm still working my way through Keepers of the Lost Cities, and have been waiting for an eternity for the next book to come in at the library! It's finally there, but the weather is so wacky outside that I'm not going to be able to get to the library today. Woe of woes!

~

How would you spend your ideal snow day? Reading anything good lately? Do you cope well with yarn and needles or do you have a tendency to throw them across the room ejaculating in wrathful frustration? (not that this has happened to me *cough*.)

~ K A T H R Y N



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Emotions

they flit like finicky faeries 
ride on the wings of change
undulating with the mystery they carry
marred, confused, strong, and strange

a thousand shifting shades
biting and tearing like lies
rampage quickly on their raids
heedless of silent cries

i resist and run away
close my eyes and clench my teeth
they shall not triumph today
hide their shriveling bodies beneath


this picture does not relate to the poem at all but yay for cool sunlight


~

'Lo there, just popping in to share this poem I whipped up last week.
I've been very busy with school and dance as of late, and exams are underway. I've taken history and philosophy exams and have French, chemistry, math, and english left. I'm not very worried about any of them except for chemistry. It's not like I don't LIKE chem, it's just a very hard subject for me and has been giving me a constant stomach ache.
 Oh well, once I'm done I'll be on CHRISTMAS BREAK! :)

I plan on posting Tea and a Read next week and I have a fabulous book to share with you all. 

~ K A T H R Y N

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The Sixth Sense // Novel Snippets



'Lo,

I don't really feel comfortable sharing my stories on here, but everyone in the Blogger world seems to be displaying their NaNo work for feedback/commentary and I'd love to hear what you have to say.
 So, here's some unedited rubbish that I'm hoping turns into a decent story someday. As you will see, I'm going for a sic-fi, dystopian feel, but I'm a little concerned it's going to turn into the "typical dystopian" (you know what kind of books I'm talking about.) Has anyone experienced this problem before?

This November I've worked more on planning rather than "winging it" and letting my whims drive me. I'm so much happier with this approach, and it provides structure without cramping creativity. 

These snippets are totally unedited and I havn't looked at them for a while...be warned. :)
~

- Snippet One -

Press to start transcription
*lol that's supposed to be in a cool font but blogger doesn't want to use it*


His hands shake as he slowly moved towards the screen. His eyes are narrowed, his lips dry and trembling. He is frightened but determined. I leap towards the monster apparatus, yelling.
“Xandar, stop! You don’t know what you’re doing!” I shout as loud as I can over the whir of the waiting machine, pulling his face away from the screen. He regards me with a bleary gaze of annoyance and desperately tries to yank his head away. I grit my teeth and pull him closer, trying to read his vacant eyes. My heart hurts for him, but I’m mad at him too. How could he be so stupid?
I’m jerked out of my thick thoughts as the resistance of his head against my hands slackens. He’s weak. I quickly disconnect the cord from his port and try to lower him to the floor.
“We need to get out of here, now, okay?” I say slowly, trying to make him register that this is important. After a few seconds of confused recognition, he nods meekly and stumbles towards the door. The door looks far away and I can feel the perspiration creeping down past my eyebrows, blurring my vision. I want my heart to stop pounding in my ears, in my head, in my brain... I must get him out of here. I can’t let them win.


“Stop right there.”



I wake up with a jolt, tumbling out of bed on to the floor, my heart beating wildly. This is the third time in a week that I’ve had the dream, and it gets vivider every time. I take a quick swipe around my bedroom just to make sure everything is as I’d left it the night before. Pink, early morning light filters in through the curtains, making me feel better. It’s a dream, just paranoia spurred on by the increasingly bizarre and terrifying news coverage that we can’t rip our eyes from. Suppressed stories that we piece together, our imaginations filling in the blanks.

- Snippet Two -

“Reina! Wait for me!” A shrill voice yells my name from behind, and I hear light footsteps behind me. Ceilia, the Mayor’s fair haired daughter grins at me, her small frame trembling with pent up energy. Ceilia is five years younger than I, but we get along well. I am intrigued by her intelligent, piercing grey eyes, and she reminds me of a young meadow lark, always flitting about doing something. I take her small hand in mine and we continue walking to the school in a companionable silence, our exhalations leaving small puffs of vapor in the biting air.
“Reina?” Ceilia breaks the silence, turning her head upwards to look me in the face. “Do you want to hear something daddy said this morning?” 
I smile, nodding at her. We continue walking.
“Daddy said something bad happened at the Party Capital last night. They wanted to arrest a boy, you see, and of course he didn’t want to be arrested, I mean, would you? Anyway, he escaped, and the Capital is crazy mad over it. They sent alerts to all the divisions officials, like daddy, saying to keep an eye out for the boy. I just don’t understand what a boy could do that could be so bad.”
She pauses for breath, her small pale face screwing up in confusion. I raise my eyebrows, sure this is another dramatic retelling of her father’s small tasks. I am slightly unsettled, however, because she hasn’t ever told me anything like this. I don’t want to worry her head with any questions, I can already see she is worried. I swing her arm, skipping for a few steps. “Wanna race the rest of the way?” I ask nonchalantly, my face breaking into a smile. The cloud of confusion on Ceilia’s face clears and she brightens. “Try to keep up!” She giggles mischievously, breaking into a surprisingly fast sprint. I follow suit, laughing despite the burning feeling the cold leaves in my lungs. We reach the tall building at the same time.

from pinterest a.k.a. the black hole of pretended productivity


~ K A T H R Y N




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