18


"Happy Birthday hunny! Time to have breakfast!"
I knew that forced cheerful voice of mother's. I didn't blame her for it either.
Today I turned 18. Today I would either die or live, and if I lived,  prove my strength as a man.
Every man or woman's 18th birthday was their time to prove that they had come of age. If not they were sent far, far away to the Land of The Weak. If their monster did not subdue them. Or really their imagination, for the monster we must fight is really just our worst fear, created using a DNA sample given years before. These monsters take time. Nothing to worry about, right?

I tried to eat but was so nervous I could not. I dressed in the standard outfit of The Testing: a black shirt, black pants, and strong leather boots. Mother watched me nervously as I walked out the door. She would be seeing me later in the arena-watching me battle the ferocious beast that I would confront.
I knew what it was already, and it would be nearly impossible to fight.

~~~

The hot rays of sun beat down on me as I waited for the current child to finish her testing. CRASH! The spider's jaws snapped down in fury. The girl started screaming, and did I blame her? I tried to block out the noises as I focused. I must run to the center of the arena, grab a weapon, then kill the...whatever it was called. 
The fight was over. The beast had won. I swallowed as my name was called and I stepped out. The crowd cheered for me, but I did not feel encouraged. 
The creature was let out. It was a shapeless blob of black, emanating hopelessness from it's deep body. Whispering all around me. 
You're alone now...hissessss....no one is here...to helppsss. No one careeessss.
My heart raced in a panic as I side stepped nervously. The thing hadn't moved.
You're alone with ussssss....you have no chance...just give in to usssss.
Strange thoughts raced through my mind. Why not end the suffering now and at my own hand?
Go onnnnnn now....eternal peacesssss....
I shook my head trying to clear the fuzzy feeling.
"I AM NOT YOURS." I screamed, and to my own surprise, started to walk forward.
"YOU LOVE ME MOTHER, I KNOW YOU  DO." I yelled, gathering courage.
"FATHER LOVES ME, HE'S IN THE STANDS NOW" I raised my spear.
"THEY ALL WANT ME TO WIN THEY DO, THEY DO." I was about to throw now.
There is some that doesssess nottss
"ONLY YOU, YOU MISERABLE CREATURE."
Perhaps this was not true, but it did not do well to think of that at this pleasant little appointment. 
And with that, I plunged the spear blindly into the jelly-like body of the Fear, driving my anger behind it, holding it, holding it with my eyes clothes. Years seemed to go on. Finally I opened my eyes.
The thing was gone.
The crowds were cheering.
I was here.

~~~

Hm. I'm not completely happy with this. Seems cliche, but I do like the idea. Thoughts?

Have a nice night!( Or day.)





13 comments:

  1. I like it. You are a good writer.

    ~Nabila

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    Replies
    1. Thank you so much!
      ~Kathryn

      Delete
  2. Replies
    1. Thank you! : )
      ~Kathryn

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  3. I like it!
    I feel like a little more could have been done, but it's still great.
    I don't think it's cliche... I don't know what it is.
    As a writer I think you should use this story to learn and fix it, since you said you weren't happy with it. Edit a bit, change some things, and once YOU think it's your best, post it again.
    If you did that I'd love to see what you change. I don't mean to say I don't like your story, because I do, I'm just trying to help you make it so that YOU ARE completely happy with it.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hehe, thanks. I guess writing at 10 at night isn't such a good idea. XD
      Also, thanks for the tips.
      ~Kathryn

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  4. i'd say it's pretty good..it really built up to the climax well, and yeah. pretty awesome <#

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    Replies
    1. Thanks hun. ; )
      ~Kathryn

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  5. i was about to wish you happy birthday...lol i'm a little slow on the upkeep, haha...but it was really nice!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh, thank you so much! It's kinda a coincidence that I wrote this story the night before my birthday. ; ) Luckily I don't have to fight any dragons until I turn 18...dun dun dun.
      ~Kathryn

      ~Kathryn

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  6. YOU'RE SUCH A GOOD AUTHOR!!! Did I miss the first chapter, I hope I didn't! I'm having a Blogger Choice Awards and would LOVE for you to enroll! Thanks :)

    Rukiya XX

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    Replies
    1. Awww thanks! This was just an individual writing piece. Okay, I'll check it out later!
      ~Kathryn

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    2. Good! Well It's AMAZING! Thanks for enrolling into my Blogger Choice Awards! I done a post today giving updates about it.

      Rukiya XX

      Delete

Thank you for leaving a comment-you're the best!
~Kathryn

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